Friday, 26 October 2007

Once a Baby, Always a Baby

Every few days or so I like to stop my husband’s heart—for just a sec, you know, to see if he is listening. And all it takes are select few words, usually spewed out casually in a dinnertime conversation.

"Honey, do you think we should have another baby?”

Poor guy. At first a half smile appears.

“You’re joking, right?”

He thinks this must be it, this is the time I’ve got him by his jingle bells…thinking, oh god, could she actually be serious?

“No, I’m not joking. How ‘bout we have another baby?”

“Honnneeey, really???” The smile disappears.

In an effort to get blood back to his head, I dart a cheeky grin in his direction.

“I’m just kidding honey!” He begins to breath again, slowly. “Really?”

I say, “ Yeah. I’m too old to have a baby!”

Now, ladies, I know this is not true. Some of the best ladies of the fab fortys, Antique Mommy, It Could’ve Been Worse and Rhonda, are quick to prove otherwise. In fact, I think I’m well, bodily and otherwise, able to produce another one of life’s joys, it is just that I’m too selfish.

And doesn’t it always sounds better when a decision appears out of your control like with age versus a simple preference for sleep and the ability to get up and go at a moment’s notice without nappies, bottles, whining, and car seats? You know, minus the whole dependency gig that comes with infants.

However, if such exaggeration provides DH with a little assurance that I’m serious, all is good. Even if it is a pile of malarkey.

The morning after my usual trickery at the dinner table, Cutiepie woke up in a crankier mood than usual. She whined and sobbed and clung to me.

Assuming she just had wake-up blues, I pulled her closer for a snuggle. “Come here, my little baby!”

Louder cries erupted. I hugged her closer to baby her and soothe her misery. “What’s wrong baby? Mommy’s has her little baby…What’s wrong?”

More sobs and inaudible words told me she had something to say. I settled her by asking her what she wanted to say and what was bothering her.

“But I’m NOT your baby!” she wailed.

“Course you are. You ARE my baby!”

Cutiepie looked me straight in the eye and said, “But mommy, you’re too old to have a baby!”

Ouch.

It’s time I work on a new tactic to get DH’s attention.

4 comments:

Cathi said...

Oh no!! What a backfire, lol!! But never a bad thing to keep a DH on his toes! Keep em guessing, lol!

Megan (FriedOkra) said...

Ha! Poor little Cutiepie. Poor little husband! I totally agree with you about the baby thing. I'm done. I'm forty, so well, I can use that as the reason, but the truth is just that BEING forty, I recognize how much I'd have to give up for another baby, and darn it, I'm just not ready to do that. Sometimes I just SAY that to people (who WILL ask me if we're going to have another, even though I don't always love to have it asked!) and often their reply is a startled/kindof embarrassed, "Oh!" I don't get why it's so startling, really. I mean, I love my child and I will be the best darned Mommy I can be for her, forever!, but I have limitations and I also have hopes and dreams of life BEYOND being a Mama. Why's that so wrong in some people's eyes?

whoops I think I ranted a little. Sorry.

sMC said...

could try...honey I'm pregnant!!!
might get a reaction:)
I had my 3 in 36 months. Just a personal thing, maybe because my parents were older but I said..no kids after 30. Thankfully it worked that way. I dont know how you young mums manage nowadays. Just like to think...bin there done that, so to speak lol.

Redneck Mommy said...

I overheard my son tell his friends the reason we are adopting a kiddo is because his "mom's uterus is dry as dust."

Nice.

And when did I become as old as dust???