I went through a breakup this weekend.
It has been bittersweet and nerve wracking. But it is for the best. When something better is for offer and you know leaving is for the best, you can’t really worry about others’ feelings. I was told this process would be hard when we returned to the States last summer. I never imagined how hard and draining it really is.
The thought of moving on goes against the grain for me. I want roots and a permanence that makes one feel valued and supported for the long term. And yet, I’m in a perpetual motion looking for the next great relationship.
So when my recent contract expired with “DealPower”, and although a brief short new contract was extended, I was still interested in others who could provide me more stability. For two weeks I courted new prospects. One day, my dance card was filled from 10-4 with as many as 11 suitors testing and auditioning me. It can be best described as speed dating without alcohol. I do not recommend it.
Sure, I’m flattered and grateful for all the attention. However, when each and every one of them asks the same question, “what makes you want to work for us?” it is tiring. At about the fifth repeat, I bite my tongue, avoiding the real and frank, “location and money.” Never mind how impressed I am with the company (I’m infatuated easily) or how talented and skillful I am (um, duh?). But I know all too well, bold sassiness always attracts the bad boys, not the nice guys you want to take home to meet the parents.
There were several prospects I eliminated immediately. Like the manager who completed our meeting with his ultimate goal, “Really, I want someone I can have lunch with every day.” (Thanks for being so honest. I think.) Or, the team whose computer wouldn’t work and when asked the greatest challenge said, “Beyond the never-ending technology glitches, it would be working til 10pm most nights.”
Some people don’t really know how to show their best side. Fortunately I have had plenty of practice. Again and again and again.
So now I have the butterflies and nerves that come with a new relationship. What shall I wear? How do I look? Will it be the right fit? Yes, I’m officially off the market again.
I’m hoping it will be beginning of a really long romance.